I’ve considered myself an in-progress minimalist since 2016, when my husband and I moved into our first home. After years of apartment living and a mix of random furniture, I wanted this space to feel different — not just filled with “stuff,” but with the things we truly loved. We decided early on that when we brought something new into our home, it would be chosen intentionally, with our style and long-term life in mind.
That practice of intentional decision-making around furniture slowly started to spill into other areas of my life — clothing, accessories, makeup, skincare, and eventually the products we used for and around our kids. I found myself asking: Does this add value to our lives? Is this something we really need? Do we feel good about bringing it into our home?
Cultivating an intentional life isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating guiderails that help you live with clarity, focus, and purpose. Here are a few of the ones that have helped me:
1. Everything Has a Home (and the Home Sets the Limit)
Clutter creeps in when things don’t have a designated spot. Giving every item a “home” creates natural boundaries — if there’s no space for it, it probably doesn’t belong. For example, my books have two shelves in the bookcase. If they are full, I either need to pass a book along to a friend or make a thoughtful decision about what to keep. Setting rules like this ahead of time, prevent emotional decision making and sent boundaries that feel more black and white.
2. Keep Flat Surfaces Clear
Kitchen counters, coffee tables, nightstands — these are clutter magnets. The moment one thing lands, it’s only a matter of time before five more follow. By committing to keeping flat surfaces clear, your space feels instantly calmer and easier to manage.
3. Cultivate a Uniform
I’m not a fashionista, but I love feeling put-together in clothes that are comfortable and practical. Instead of chasing trends, I started paying attention to what I actually wore and loved. Over time, I built what I think of as a personal uniform — not in the Steve Jobs “black turtleneck every day” way, but in the sense that my wardrobe follows a clear pattern that works for me.
Here’s how my uniform has taken shape:
Colors I actually wear: I gravitate toward blacks, grays, and olive green. Knowing this keeps shopping simple — I skip entire sections of stores that don’t fit my palette. (Having my colors done confirmed I’m a true winter, which made this even easier.)
Layering staples: Kimonos and open sweaters are my go-to layers.
Low-maintenance basics: Athleisure is part of my everyday life, but I keep it streamlined — plain black leggings and pants only.
Comfort over restriction: I won’t buy anything stiff, itchy, or overly fitted. If I can’t move freely, it’s not coming home.
Minimal “special occasion” wear: I own just a couple of versatile dresses and one pair of dress pants, and I happily rewear them when needed.
Practical care only: Everything must be machine washable. My clothes need to fit into my real life, not the other way around.
No “starter” pieces: New items must work with what I already own. If it requires me to buy additional things, it’s a no.
This approach not only makes getting dressed easier, but it also saves money and reduces decision fatigue. My wardrobe feels cohesive, and I feel confident without overthinking.
4. Create a Drop Zone (on Purpose)
Everyone has that one spot where mail, keys, and random “stuff” tend to pile up. Instead of fighting it, I’ve found it’s better to lean into it — but do it intentionally. Give yourself a dedicated drop zone that feels tidy and styled (a cute tray, a small basket, or a hook by the door). That way, the clutter has a contained space, and your home still feels calm.
5. Choose Quality Over Quantity
Whether it’s skincare, cookware, or shoes, I’ve found it’s worth saving for the higher-quality version of something I’ll use daily rather than buying multiples of the cheaper option. A well-made item that lasts seasons or years is more satisfying than a drawer full of “just okay” substitutes. This also keeps me out of stores where I might find myself buying things that I don’t need.
6. Buy Experiences Over Things
Some of our best memories come not from the things we’ve purchased, but from the experiences we’ve had — trips, shows, family adventures, even a special dinner out. When you shift your spending toward experiences, you not only reduce clutter but also create stories and memories that last far longer than any object.
7. Be Intentional About What You Consume
After becoming parents, Kevin and I became much more mindful about the products we brought into our home — everything from household cleaners to the food we bought. Reading ingredient labels and doing a bit of research helped us make small but meaningful changes that felt aligned with our values.
8. Give Yourself Permission to Edit
Cultivated living doesn’t mean making the right decision every single time. Sometimes you buy something you thought you’d love and it doesn’t work out. That’s okay. I’ve learned to release the guilt and simply let it go — either by donating, reselling, or passing it to someone who will use it. Here are some ways to make that easy:
If I come across an item that isn’t benefiting me or my family, or is broken, I get rid of it immediately or as soon as I can.
I keep donation boxes around the house.
I use a “Time-Will-Tell” bin. I love this idea from The Minimal Mom. She suggests putting items you may want to declutter into a bin and then dating that bin for a set date in the future. If you don’t reach for the items by the date, you get rid of the items. At any point you can go back to the bin to retrieve something if you can recall the item specifically.
Minimalism and essentialism aren’t really about owning less — they’re about living more. By curating what comes into our lives, we gain space, time, and mental energy for the things that truly matter. With fewer possessions to manage, I spend less time cleaning and picking up and more time focusing on my family and the things I actually enjoy. Clear surfaces and intentional spaces also bring a sense of calm; the home feels peaceful rather than overwhelming.
Living intentionally also reduces decision fatigue. When I’m not constantly deciding what to wear, where to put something, or whether or not we should buy something new, I have more energy to devote to creativity, relationships, and joy. Every intentional choice brings me back to what matters most: aligning our home, our time, and our spending with our values.
At the end of the day, essentialism isn’t about deprivation — it’s about choosing with purpose. When you decide what deserves space in your home and in your life, you create more clarity, peace, and joy. And that’s what cultivated living is really about.
The instagram and Pinterest algorithms have been serving me up some solid mom content lately, including stunning, curated kid’s bookshelves that quickly had me spiraling down the rabbit hole of themed books, tiny shelves, and felt banners. Kevin and I are both readers and book lovers and we want to instill the same love of books in Callahan by making it fun and exciting to sit down and read a few books together. We asked for books instead of cards at our baby shower before Callahan was born, we have consistently asked for books for him as gifts, and the book store is a collective favorite.
I decided to keep it super simple – just two picture ledges from Command as well as felt bats and a ghost figurine from the Target dollar spot. The books are just all the orange, purple and black ones we have in our collection (that went along with the few Halloween/fall books we have). We are obsessed with Our Friend the Moon and Little Blue Truck’s Halloween, if you’re looking to add some festive books to your stash. We love the cozy little spot and the pillows are just decorative ones we snagged from our guest bedroom. We love to snuggle up on them before bed and they are one of the dog’s favorite spots in the house…of course. As we continue to make decisions about his room as we near the toddler bed stage, I’d love to incorporate a nugget couch (or similar) that feels special and just for him.
I’m already starting to think about gratitude, thanksgiving, and fall themed books that I’m going to put together at the beginning of November and then already have a stack of books prepped for Christmas (since we keep those separate with the Christmas decor). After the holidays, I’m hoping to open the theme up a bit to something more broad (animal books, books that make noise, books about space, etc) or a group of books that are the same color. It’s been a tiny creative outlet that, similar to toy rotations, keeps things feeling minimal, really fresh and allows us to cycle out books we need a break from so that they can come back in a month or two feeling brand new.
I starting following Myquillyn Smith (aka The Nester) on social media several years ago after reading her first book The Nesting Place. What I love about Myquillyn is that it’s not about having the perfect space or the perfect items or spending a ton of money, it’s really about making the best design decisions you can with what you have or what you can get your hands on. I wouldn’t go out of my way to say that I super enjoy or am even a little bit good at interior design (hello decision fatigue), but I do know what I prefer design-wise and I do like to feel proud of our home when we have people over. Which is why I’m here and I’m talking about it.
We live in a smaller ranch-style house that will not be our forever home, if I have anything to say about it. But it is perfect for our little family right now. If I’m being honest, I’ve been putting a project like this off in hopes that someone else can make it their own and we can move into something different that will require a little less… love. I think that is a little while off still at this point and I’ve realized that I don’t want to end up doing a ton of work right before we move for us to not get to enjoy it. What I’m hoping to tackle (with the help of a few friends and Myquillyn’s Cozy Minimalist Community on Facebook) is our living room/kitchen/dining space. The steps below are a series of steps that The Nester recommends you go through to help make sure there is a level of cohesiveness and that you’re making decisions in a way that put some of the bigger picture and ticket items first. I don’t think it’s the only way to do it, but I do think it will be fun to follow along and have seen a lot of other non-interior designer folks figure it out using the same method.
Step 1. Intention
The first step is to decide on a purpose of the room and create a dedicated pinboard. My goal is for the room to feel cozy, minimal, simple. This is a big portion of our living space and the only place we really have guests, so it needs to feel inviting and warm. You can see my Pinterest Board here but I also went ahead and pulled out my top favorites to put in a little college. I’m not married to these colors specifically, but it’s the vibe and the softness that I’m a fan of. Our living room/dining room/kitchen all very much flow together and I think part of what has prevented me from updating or changing this space is the daunting amount of work that I know it’s going to entail. In addition to the two cans of paint the walls will take, I also really want (and need!) to paint the trim which leads to me painting the kitchen cabinets since right now they are all the same shade of off-white. I’m a very clean lines and bright colors person so it very much screams dirty to me. Which is probably also is, but I digress.
Below is a more curated vision board of the furnishings I plan to use. I’ve been eyeballing that rug and *may* have already purchased the curtains before I fully had a grasp on The Nester’s recommended order of doing things. Oops!
Step 2. Quiet / Arrange
Next, we are to quiet the room by removing as much as possible (wall hangings, decor, rugs, etc). Then it’s time to arrange seating, surfaces, and storage pieces. Myquillyn normally recommends that each seat have a place to put a drink. I hope folks have long arms because I don’t see that happening in this space in this season of life. Having a toddler makes me want to hold off on the coffee table goodness for the time being and we plan to keep all the furniture we are currently using (with the exception of exchanging out the table the TV is currently on). It’s taken us a few years but I feel really good about how it’s all situated.
Step 3. Focus on the Trinity
The trinity is comprised of rugs, drapes, and lighting and this step is all about making sure we have the right number of these items as well as size, length, and temperature/visibility respectively. I haven’t quite gotten to this point in thinking about how this will turn out, but it would be a dream to change out one or two of our light fixtures – of the five in this space we have black, brown/bronze, nickel and then a more true silver. And there’s a ceiling fan in our kitchen.
As I mentioned above, I do already have our drapes. Since we’re already to this step, I’m working on a long (ideally 12 foot) curtain rod to replace the one we have. I’m hoping for black and something a little more sleek. They will be hung as high and as wide as possible. The curtains are a bit more sheer than I’d like, so i’m also trying to figure out the best way to back them before they are hung.
Step 4. Walls
The fourth step is to incorporate wall treatments, wall art, and wall sabbaths. This is also the point in which paint color should be considered. Even though I’m not quite to this step, I have a few options already in mind. I’ll make the final decision once drapes and rug are in place.
I mentioned above that I’m going to paint the trim and cabinets as well, so we’re about to have a really fun time. Here are the colors I’m considering from left to right: Snowbound (trim and upper cabinets), Basalt Powder (wall paint), Green Pasture (lower cabinets), and Urbane Bronze (accent wall).
Step 5. Accessories
The final step is to style vignettes, surfaces and shelves using Myquillyn’s vignette formulas. Then it’s time for pillows, throws, and plants. I don’t anticipate having a whole lot of accessories (toddler + two dogs) but I will hang something on the wall behind the couch for sure.
There you have it! I’m super excited to keep this project moving and can’t wait to come back with an update in a few months.
