I’ve considered myself an in-progress minimalist since 2016, when my husband and I moved into our first home. After years of apartment living and a mix of random furniture, I wanted this space to feel different — not just filled with “stuff,” but with the things we truly loved. We decided early on that when we brought something new into our home, it would be chosen intentionally, with our style and long-term life in mind.
That practice of intentional decision-making around furniture slowly started to spill into other areas of my life — clothing, accessories, makeup, skincare, and eventually the products we used for and around our kids. I found myself asking: Does this add value to our lives? Is this something we really need? Do we feel good about bringing it into our home?
Cultivating an intentional life isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating guiderails that help you live with clarity, focus, and purpose. Here are a few of the ones that have helped me:
1. Everything Has a Home (and the Home Sets the Limit)
Clutter creeps in when things don’t have a designated spot. Giving every item a “home” creates natural boundaries — if there’s no space for it, it probably doesn’t belong. For example, my books have two shelves in the bookcase. If they are full, I either need to pass a book along to a friend or make a thoughtful decision about what to keep. Setting rules like this ahead of time, prevent emotional decision making and sent boundaries that feel more black and white.
2. Keep Flat Surfaces Clear
Kitchen counters, coffee tables, nightstands — these are clutter magnets. The moment one thing lands, it’s only a matter of time before five more follow. By committing to keeping flat surfaces clear, your space feels instantly calmer and easier to manage.
3. Cultivate a Uniform
I’m not a fashionista, but I love feeling put-together in clothes that are comfortable and practical. Instead of chasing trends, I started paying attention to what I actually wore and loved. Over time, I built what I think of as a personal uniform — not in the Steve Jobs “black turtleneck every day” way, but in the sense that my wardrobe follows a clear pattern that works for me.
Here’s how my uniform has taken shape:
- Colors I actually wear: I gravitate toward blacks, grays, and olive green. Knowing this keeps shopping simple — I skip entire sections of stores that don’t fit my palette. (Having my colors done confirmed I’m a true winter, which made this even easier.)
- Layering staples: Kimonos and open sweaters are my go-to layers.
- Low-maintenance basics: Athleisure is part of my everyday life, but I keep it streamlined — plain black leggings and pants only.
- Comfort over restriction: I won’t buy anything stiff, itchy, or overly fitted. If I can’t move freely, it’s not coming home.
- Minimal “special occasion” wear: I own just a couple of versatile dresses and one pair of dress pants, and I happily rewear them when needed.
- Practical care only: Everything must be machine washable. My clothes need to fit into my real life, not the other way around.
- No “starter” pieces: New items must work with what I already own. If it requires me to buy additional things, it’s a no.
This approach not only makes getting dressed easier, but it also saves money and reduces decision fatigue. My wardrobe feels cohesive, and I feel confident without overthinking.
4. Create a Drop Zone (on Purpose)
Everyone has that one spot where mail, keys, and random “stuff” tend to pile up. Instead of fighting it, I’ve found it’s better to lean into it — but do it intentionally. Give yourself a dedicated drop zone that feels tidy and styled (a cute tray, a small basket, or a hook by the door). That way, the clutter has a contained space, and your home still feels calm.
5. Choose Quality Over Quantity
Whether it’s skincare, cookware, or shoes, I’ve found it’s worth saving for the higher-quality version of something I’ll use daily rather than buying multiples of the cheaper option. A well-made item that lasts seasons or years is more satisfying than a drawer full of “just okay” substitutes. This also keeps me out of stores where I might find myself buying things that I don’t need.
6. Buy Experiences Over Things
Some of our best memories come not from the things we’ve purchased, but from the experiences we’ve had — trips, shows, family adventures, even a special dinner out. When you shift your spending toward experiences, you not only reduce clutter but also create stories and memories that last far longer than any object.
7. Be Intentional About What You Consume
After becoming parents, Kevin and I became much more mindful about the products we brought into our home — everything from household cleaners to the food we bought. Reading ingredient labels and doing a bit of research helped us make small but meaningful changes that felt aligned with our values.
8. Give Yourself Permission to Edit
Cultivated living doesn’t mean making the right decision every single time. Sometimes you buy something you thought you’d love and it doesn’t work out. That’s okay. I’ve learned to release the guilt and simply let it go — either by donating, reselling, or passing it to someone who will use it. Here are some ways to make that easy:
- If I come across an item that isn’t benefiting me or my family, or is broken, I get rid of it immediately or as soon as I can.
- I keep donation boxes around the house.
- I use a “Time-Will-Tell” bin. I love this idea from The Minimal Mom. She suggests putting items you may want to declutter into a bin and then dating that bin for a set date in the future. If you don’t reach for the items by the date, you get rid of the items. At any point you can go back to the bin to retrieve something if you can recall the item specifically.
Minimalism and essentialism aren’t really about owning less — they’re about living more. By curating what comes into our lives, we gain space, time, and mental energy for the things that truly matter. With fewer possessions to manage, I spend less time cleaning and picking up and more time focusing on my family and the things I actually enjoy. Clear surfaces and intentional spaces also bring a sense of calm; the home feels peaceful rather than overwhelming.
Living intentionally also reduces decision fatigue. When I’m not constantly deciding what to wear, where to put something, or whether or not we should buy something new, I have more energy to devote to creativity, relationships, and joy. Every intentional choice brings me back to what matters most: aligning our home, our time, and our spending with our values.
At the end of the day, essentialism isn’t about deprivation — it’s about choosing with purpose. When you decide what deserves space in your home and in your life, you create more clarity, peace, and joy. And that’s what cultivated living is really about.